very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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