Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
