he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
