Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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