I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
