The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
