you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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