If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
