i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
