Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
