Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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