Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
