tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
