The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
