I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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