The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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