Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
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Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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