I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize