Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
