apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Randomize
