i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
