the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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