The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
only if we run a train.
done.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
