And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
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It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
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So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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