i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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