I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
