i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
