Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
