I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I didn't notice because vodka
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
