Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
