yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
