he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
