Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
