She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
