Small penises have feelings too.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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