Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize