Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
