You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize