Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
