i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
