Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize