how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
