Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
