He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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