They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
