So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Randomize
