OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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