I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
