Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
