so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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