we're blogging at a bar
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
