Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
