Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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