3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
