Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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