I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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