Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
