I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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