Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
