I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
