So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize