Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
