jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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