Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
