The maid of honor just puked.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
