new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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