***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize