Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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